Brought to you by the same folk as Meat Wagon, Meat Liquor et al. Meat Market occupies the mezzanine level right at the back of Jubilee Market in Covent Garden.
Finding it can be tricky, but after elbowing a few dozen tourists buying “I heart London” crap out of the way, you come to the staircase that will lead you to burger heaven.
Well so I thought.
Meat Market certainly looks the business. The decor is cheeky and vibrant, and the menu includes Dead Hippie, Ripper, Dirty White and Miami Nice to name a few.
Lunchtime on a Wednesday and not massively busy.
Opting for the Black Palace (2 patties, cheese, pickles, onions, ketchup and mustard), Poppaz (breaded deep fried jalapenos and cheese) and Hard Beige (vanilla, maple syrup and bourbon shake) I chose to eat in, but there is the option to takeaway.
Thoughtfully rolls of kitchen towel have been supplied on the long wooden tables and this was very much needed.
I propped myself on one of the stools and took a better look around while waiting for my name to be called.
Not much of a wait for my food and it did look rather good.
The Poppaz were lovely, crispy and crunchy on the outside with oozy jalapeno cheese in the middle. Not too sure about the Ranch dressing they are served with, but delicious on their own.
The burger was underwhelming. The meat was overcooked and on the dry side and on further inspection, the pattie on its own was tasteless and bland.
The only thing giving the burger any flavour were all condiments and extras thrown at it, and I do mean thrown.
I love handmade messy burgers (the likes of Kimchi Cult and Mother Flipper spring to mind) but this was carelessly put together. Halfway through I stopped torturing myself and gave up.
As for the Hard Beige, the only thing “hard” about is was the effort needed to suck anything up through the straw. If there was any bourbon in mine I neglected to detect it.
An expensive paper cup of vanilla ice-cream was all it was.
Usually I don’t bother writing about bad experiences, but Meat Market isn’t cheap and I walked away from it feeling I’d wasted a lunch hour and almost £20.
(Black Palace £7.50, Poppaz £4.00, Hard Beige £5.00)
On a stunningly hot day like today a Pret sandwich in the park would have been far more satisfying.
I was hoping the new addition to Jubilee Market would make it worth visiting but in reality Meat Market fits in perfectly with all the expensive tat being sold.
The Mezzanine, Jubilee Market Hall, Tavistock St
London WC2E 8BE